Hello and You Are

[born_in_flame]

 Caleb knew he had a tendency to work a little too hard and a little too late when his friends were off on their own pursuits and a certain drow was off doing whatever it was drow wizards on the run did when they had to be on the run.  But Caleb needed distraction when someone couldn't provide it and work was that. 

Currently he was bent over his newest spell book painstakingly copying a delightful sensation spell he planned to spring on Essek when he returned when he heard footsteps stop outside his office door and a soft tap then hit the door itself. Caleb looked up eyes suddenly blurry as he realized how late it was. His students knew how late he tended to work so it was no surprise that one of them might have come to him when they needed some help. 

"Come in," he called out tiredly. "The door is unlocked." 

Comments

[zauberdecke]

"I have a brother whom I miss very dearly however it is nearly impossible for myself to go see him, my own dealings have taken me far away from him, so I understand that feeling well... I am sure that she will enjoy them immensely."

He knew that there was a delicate thread here so he attempted to field it tactfully, after all he did not want Caleb to have to dredge up any more memories. "I have been taught that as long as you hold whoever you are missing in your heart, they are not truly far away."

[born_in_flame]

Caleb nods having learned this wisdom well over the years. His friends are all living their own lives now but as long as he can write them and send them presents they are never far away.

Other than Essek of course. Caleb cannot contact him as much as he would wish and that hurts deeply. Essek is his heart and being without him with feelings unspoken makes the hurt worse.

"A very wise bit of advice," he agrees, "but sometimes holding them in your heart is nor enough."

[zauberdecke]

Caleb looked so sad in this moment, so much that Seth has to pause for a moment, to steel himself from revealing himself to Caleb, to let him know that he was here, but he was not even certain if it was about him.

Instead he glances over at the tea pot tucked away on the edge and then clears his throat. "You look like you need a cup of tea, would you mind so much if I made you one, Professor Widogast?" he's already moving in that direction though also attempting to keep his authoritative take charge gait under wraps.

[born_in_flame]

Caleb is surprised at the offer but he nods realizing he does need a cup of tea. "That would be wonderful thank you," he says, "the cups are in the cabinet next to the pot, I believe there are some cookies and bear claws in there as well if you are hungry."

[zauberdecke]

Essek had been too thin when the Nein had met him, however he was starting to fill out a bit since Jester insisted on plying him with cookies every time she saw him. He had actually developed a fondness for them. So he walks over to brew the tea, taking out the kettle and filling it with water.

There was something familiar about Seth in this moment, the efficiency at which he accomplishes this task. One kettle on the stove, the tea leaves methodically placed in the strainer, then over the tea cups. He rummages around until he finds what he needs though he has the foresight to pretend that he does not know exactly where to look for things.

It takes all of about 8 minutes before finally be comes back with the hot water, with the tea steeping. A plate of cookies follows after; he resists the urge to cast mage hand. "Who do you miss? Beau told me that you were a part of a traveling crew?"

[born_in_flame]

Essek however forgets who he is in the room with. Caleb's keen mind notices the familiar circuit of the room and clocks it, but says nothing. He needs to think about what he's seen before he can confirm who he is looking at. "She was correct," he says, "I was and in the process of our travels I met a wizard who became a dear friend. We grew very close, but time and circumstance drew us apart and we do not interact as much as I would wish to."

[zauberdecke]

Essek pauses for a brief second, he certainly clocks that-- the mention of a wizard whom he knows without a shadow of a doubt to be him. It fills him with a certain aspected warmth and he cannot help but look over his shoulder at Caleb for a brief moment. "I am sure they miss you too." thank goodness he has the foresight to not automatically assume it was a he, that would've probably tipped Caleb off. "Do they come visit you though?" did Caleb want him to come back more and more? Oh gods, he was working toward that.

This, all of this was so that he could at least have a base of operation somewhere nearby, this disguise was a way that he could go out into the city proper with Caleb. He did not look for anything else but gods he wanted friendship above all else.

[born_in_flame]

Caleb smiles sadly. "They visit when they can, but for me it is never enough," he says. In his secret heart he wishes for the day when Essek is safe and they can be together publicly and he can speak his feelings completely. But given the difference in their mortality he despairs if he will ever see that day.

Caleb Widowgast never thought he could become a man who wants things, but then he met the Nein and they slowly and carefully broke down his walls and gave him hope again. He now wants a future and longs for Essek Thelyss to be a part of that future.

[zauberdecke]

That sad smile nearly breaks Essek completely, he sees it and he feels that pang in his heart.

It causes him to grip his tea cup a bit more tightly then he otherwise would've. On his wrist glows the bracelet that allows him to maintain the disguise, he casts his gaze down at it for a moment. So easy to take it off and to soothe Caleb but there is a part of him that.. well himself and Beau had not finalized plans yet.

But, this was Caleb. He was his closest friend, his dearest friend.

"I understand what it is like to miss someone, I too have someone I miss. He is very brilliant and very handsome and he lights up the world when I see him, I would like to be together with him but I've feared that perhaps my advances would not be welcome."

[born_in_flame]

Caleb considers his tea before sipping a bit. "Speaking as one who is fighting the same feelings..I would say to speak your heart. You do not know where life will lead and to wait until later may mean you cannot say anything at all."

He is speaking the advice he knows he himself should take, but he is too afraid to actually take.

[zauberdecke]

Should he or shouldn't he.

He digs in a little bit deeper because he needs to. He slowly places his tea cup aside and then clasps his hands together. "And these feelings you hold, they are for the person that you fear their safety? The one that has matters to attend to far away?" he has to know, he has to know for certain before he reveals himself because gods, he does not want to make a fool of himself it it were someone else.

Perhaps it was Kingsley for all he knew.

Gods, wizards could be so dumb sometimes.

[born_in_flame]

Caleb nods. "It is," he replies honestly, "I grew very close with him and by the last time we parted I knew for certain I loved him." Caleb smiles sadly again. "I regret not speaking my heart that time."

He sips his tea thoughtfully. "I pray he will return soon so that I can correct that mistake."

[zauberdecke]

Then it was time to reveal to Caleb the truth now wasn't it. He only hoped that the other wizard would not resent him for it. "I know that you will find that opportunity to share with him the truth." and then he twisted the bracelet on his wrist, it was a nervous gesture at best and he continued.

"I am here for the same reason, I placed myself underneath Beauregard Lionett's care as a member of the Soul because there is someone very dear to myself that lives in this city and I thought that perhaps I could have more times to visit him, to do such mundane things as go out for coffee with him, bookstores-- without endangering him." he takes a deep breath, fortifying though it was and continues.

"I love him very much, enough to want to preserve his safety; but I am very selfish Caleb Widogast." the tones of the Dynasty start to filter in. "And I want to be with him too." The bracelet comes off and then the glamour slowly filters out of him, drifting until in the chair sits a very familiar figure, a drow with hair that is starting to get a little on the longish side. "I hope you will forgive me for keeping this from you."

[born_in_flame]

Caleb feels his heart racing as he sees Essek in front of him. His face grows hot as he realizes he confessed his truth in front of the person those truths were about. "I....oh Essek.....have you done this thing for me...."

The idea is hard to grasp and yet it means so much. "I don't know what to say other than I am not angry at you."

[zauberdecke]

And thus they both had been in the confess-y mood and thus they could not truly fault each other for it; both of them having been placed emotionally on the spot though Essek's had been more reactive. "I have done this for you because I also long for stability but also I do not want to.. I do not mean to assume but that I.. I was counting on you to assist in navigating unfamiliar things."

Of which there were so many.

"I am glad that you are not angry with me, I would've asked for a reassignment if that had been the case." no sense though in speaking of what might have beens. "I would like to step out with.. and I, I meant what I have said. It started in Aeor but I do care about you very much."

[born_in_flame]

Caleb stands up and walks around his desk to join Essek, He smiles warmly and shyly reaches out to see if he can take the drow's hands. "I would enjoy helping you navigate the world whatever form that chooses to take"

He smiled. "And this means I will see you more often which makes me very happy Essek....as you now know how deeply I care for you....and I can share even more wonderful things with you."

[zauberdecke]

This was more than Essek could've fathomed happening; but it was true-- there had been an unfurling between the two of them, a intimacy that had sprung up. Be it as they were sitting at Caleb's coffee table with their knees touching while they compared notes and spells; or passing a string between them for the new cat that had found their way to Caleb's cottage.

The drow allows his hands to be caught by Caleb's, the warmth of them that engulf his own fingers. "I would like that, to share things with you.. you deserve something that is not a secret, that you can love in the daylight."

And Essek wanted to be someone that did not have to steal around; there would be moments but being within the protective confines of the Cobalt Soul would assist with that. It also meant that perhaps they could go on a proper date to one of the dancing halls or beer gardens.. eventually.

[born_in_flame]

"It never bothered me that we could not be together in the daylight," Caleb says and means it. "I worried more for you being alone more than anything else."

It was the truth., He was just waiting for the day when word comes that Essek has been caught and he would be lost to the Nein and to Caleb in particular. His heart could not take that. "But now we can be and I will see you more often and worry much less."

[zauberdecke]

"It bothered me." Essek said this simply, perhaps even a bit selfishly. He continued as he looks into Caleb's blue eyes, and no matter that he could not look into the sun without pain-- he could gaze into Caleb's eyes and it was the same warmth, better even.

"It bothered me because I wanted to go out with you to cafes and bookshops but for the longest time I was unable to, and I needed a solution. But while I did, there was the very real fear that you would find someone else to go do those things with, someone who perhaps would take my place." He had become domesticated, Caleb-- he had found his person. He liked the Nein and like a cat, would allow them to pet him, relax in the same room as them and bask in their chaos.

But Caleb was the only lap he wanted to sit within, the only hand he wanted to have stroke him, would search him out in every room and perch like a guardian angel nearby. If he was a cat, then Caleb was whom he had claimed as his own.

[born_in_flame]

"I would never," Caleb says, "There is no one else for me....since I met you...it has only been you." The wizard steps closer smiling. "It seems I have been remiss in both telling you that truth and showing you as well." Caleb is still slow to let people in but Essek was allowed in from moment one and stayed long enough to earn both Caleb's love and trust at the same time.

"I feel as if I was waiting for you," he says softly, "and once we met the waiting stopped. So it's just been finding time to be with you which is the best form of waiting."

RENAMED: HI!

[zauberdecke]

Essek does what he would not have considered to be possible, he reaches for Caleb's hands to draw it into his own, looking up into those eyes that look so wonderfully beautifully, like a ocean of possibility. He could nearly drown in them.

Then he steps a bit closer, tentatively and hesitantly.

It was not that he feared that Caleb would break his heart, but just that he was not used to such simple acts of emotion like these, it felt fragile and precious and he wanted to hold it and cherish it for as long as possible. "For as long as you want to have me, I am yours."

Re: RENAMED: HI!

[born_in_flame]

"I will take as close to forever as we can have," Caleb replies gently but a bit nervously squeezing Essek's hands, "We have had so little time together as is that I don't want to waste anymore.....I want everything that you want and so much more Essek...please."

[zauberdecke]

There was a smile and then Essek hummed thoughtfully before he leaned down and he pressed a kiss to Caleb's forehead and then not wanting to mess anything up and hoping that he was not, he very softly and gracefully sat down on the edge of Caleb's chair, not depositing himself on the other wizard's lap just yet because he did not feel like he should be presumptuous despite their feelings. "I am hoping that with this disguise, I will have more time with you."

[born_in_flame]

Caleb doesn't know how to ask for what he wants, which is Essek in his lap so he can hold him close and breathe in his scent. But he's feeling shy and unsure so he doesn't ask, he just reaches out and touches Essek's shoulder gently. "I know it will schatz,"

He smiles. "You are brilliant Essek you and I will make this work and it will be everything we hoped for."

[zauberdecke]

Essek was so very weak to Caleb, however he could also determine the uncertainty there-- like he was unafraid of what to take for himself; this was new and this was fragile in this form though their friendship was incredibly strong, it had been the doorway through which Essek floated through, relied on. "We will use our friendship as a stepping stone, as well as the trust between us."

Hard gained but well treasured.

"What do you want, Caleb Widogast? You know that whatever it is in my power to give, I will..." anything that did not involve anything outside. He leaned in on the chair of that arm to press a kiss to the top of the hair, the scent of apples like a comforting presence.

[born_in_flame]

Caleb flushes and it takes him a moment to consider how best to ask for what he wants. "Would you...sit on my lap," he says softly, "I would like to feel the weight of you in my arms."

He has always enjoyed when Jester does the same thing. It is a quiet comfort and he wants that with Essek now as well.

[zauberdecke]

For a moment, Essek just watches Caleb. This was not something he was familiar with though he has noted on a few occasions in the grove where Beau sat on Yasha's lap so he does not think that it is too strange.

Very carefully, he slides onto that lap and then wraps his arms around Caleb's shoulders. "Like this?" there is a bit of disarming tentativeness in Essek, considering that this was his first time with a great many things including reacting to a intimate friend such as Caleb was now.

[born_in_flame]

Caleb wraps his thinner arms around Essek and nods. "Yes perfect," he says softly as he leans in to press a kiss to Essek's forehead. It feels different from the last time he did it...more intimate...warmer with less of the negative emotions."

[zauberdecke]

This is when Essek finds his voice as he feels the arms around him as well as the lips against his forehead. "I have a few conditions of course." now this is where he starts to be the ever forthright Essek that everyone knows and loves. "The first is that when I am away for whatever reason, it means that you need to start taking care of yourself. I want you to eat properly in my absence when at all possible and now I will be casting sending just to remind you to eat.'

Oh no, Caleb. You may have bitten off more than you can chew. "If you are going to be mine, you are mine and I will not tolerate any negligence." he taps that nose softly with one perfectly manicured fingertip.

[born_in_flame]

Caleb sighs affectionately and nods. "I agree to your terms schatz I am well aware how I am with no one to check on me. It is fair you hold me to a standard I do not hold myself to."

He smiles and gently squeezes Essek in a hug,

[zauberdecke]

That made Essek smile in that secret way of his, and then he followed the tap to the nose with a kiss to the very bridge of it where that beautiful bump was located, the one that made him look distinguished. "Good boy." not knowing of course that would cause a little bit of fluster to the other man.

[born_in_flame]

Caleb is very septival to praise and the simple words make him flush red as he fights the urge to shiver. He fights the urge to thank Essek for the praise as he would have done with Wolf or Astrid.

[zauberdecke]

Essek feels the briefest of shivers go through Caleb and he very carefully strokes that hair lightly and gently, keeping the weight firm but also gentle. "Would you like to go to dinner tonight? I can wear my Seth disguise, we can go to your favorite place if you want..."

It could be their first date.